I have always been a person of many projects, sometimes so many that several never get done (my 65′ ford truck restore, the skirting on the shed, the half-written songs in my notebook). I never thought of myself as a “busy” person, but I learned from a conversation with a Christian counselor friend that I was wrong (grin). I thought recreation was my remedy to the busyness, but it can be just busyness in another form. I realized that I am somewhat of a control freak. I use my OCD as a an excuse to let this appetite for control flourish. Being busy is my way of controlling my life.
Being a pastor is challenging, but most of it works with the way I am wired. The hardest part of being a pastor is dealing with all the pain and suffering that people go through. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE to pray for my friends at Thrive Church (and elsewhere). I WANT to be a part of their suffering – to walk it with them in a healthy way.
The difficulty comes in from the back door – control. See, sometimes I get really infuriated with God’s timing. I hate that some people are enduring so much for so long. I want to get in there and help them. I want to do what I can do to fix their situation. I want to rescue them. “Get on the ball, God – geez!”
10 “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
This verse is part of a song of encouragement to people who are in dark times. If you read Psalm 46:1-11 close enough, you’ll catch a glimpse of the darkness, but it is so well-hidden by the encouraging message – a peaceful message. What is this jewel of peaceful encouragement?
“I’m God. Be still. Let me handle it. I got this.”
Sigh. OK, Lord. I’m taking my hands off.
The song you are listening to (hopefully) was written, arranged, and recorded by me (using Apple’s Garage Band) yesterday, on a lazy Sunday, as I purposefully set out to be still. When my soul quieted, a prayer without words burst forth in my heart. Massaging this piece was so therapeutic. I know it’s not a perfect recording, but I hope it speaks the unspeakable peace of God to your spirit.