DISCLAIMER: The thoughts and opinions expressed here may bare striking similarity to actual persons or events, but I may or may not be talking about you because you are only one of many drama kings and queens that I encounter on a daily basis, and therefore I can say without reservation that this message identifies with countless persons, living and dead, and some fictional characters that I included for artistic license. At any rate I love you even if you are a drama queen or king, and if you ask me, I will flat out lie and deny it’s you, and then repent for lying (just kidding – maybe).
Drama. Admit it, you just emitted an involuntary futility-induced “sigh” at that word, didn’t you?
I hate drama. It’s not that I can’t deal with it – God knew what he was doing when he gave me the gift of reconciliation. The problem is that drama kills penguins. It pummels them and then plucks their feathers. It wrings the joy out of life. I am sure you can relate – you’re having an amazing day, loving God, loving each other, passing it on… then, all of a sudden someone drops an entire flask of lemon-extract in your whi-cho-mo. Everything good just met a brick wall at 90mph.
As a church planter, I thought I could escape it – you know, start from scratch and all that. Well, I was wrong. It happens more than I want it to. But, I’ve been able to manage it – maybe not in the way you non-professionals might have hoped, but it works for me. So, here are my tips for drama queens and kings and those who deal with them. Some of it may read as “harsh” but please know that I am trying to bring some humor to the dreary and overly populated Drama Stupidity Land.
1. Speak up or clam up.
Yeah, I know you might think it’s a harsh thing to say, but seriously. I do not know you have problem with something unless you speak up. If you don’t tell me I won’t know – unless…. you tell everyone else but me. It’s not that I am ignoring your issue, it’s that I don’t know about it. So, if you want me to tackle an issue, tell me about it, and don’t go involving everyone else in your issue.
2. You don’t need me.
I am not going to insert myself into your friend/family internal drama. Sorry, but you’re on your own. If it starts affecting other people, then I might step in, but typically I will not get involved – especially if only one side of the issue thinks I should get involved and won’t try to get the other party to agree to meeting before asking me when we can schedule it. Yes, sometimes friend/family issues do rise to the point where they need the mediation of a spiritual leader. But, before you get me involved, be sure that I need to be involved. That leads me to the next “tip”.
3. Talking is good.
Contrary to popular opinion, ignoring an issue doesn’t make it better. It’s amazing how huge issues are not so huge when we talk them out with one another. Sometimes when we are in our own reaction bubble, we do not see the issue in context to real life. We get trapped in a self-strengthening whirlpool of resentment. The only cure is to talk it out. Please, before you drag me into that drama eddy you’re cultivating, see if you can solve the issue yourself with dialogue. Oh, and don’t think that it is the other person’s responsibility to start talking. The ball is always in your court, which leads me to the next “tip” (funny how that works).
4. Get over yourself.
I wish I began, early on, to track the issues behind the issues. But, if I were to take a stab at a guess I’d say that 93.54678% of the time, issues are issues because of pride, arrogance, and self-pity (which is really a form of arrogance). “Check yourself” is what Angel tells her students whose attitudes are bringing them to the brink of “poof”, which means they are about to exit her world – pray it’s just figuratively!!!
OK, I’m done, and I know you’d never guess it, but yes, sometimes I can be quite the drama king. So, all of this is pointed back at me too – maybe.
P.S. Free coffee for anyone who accurately counts the number of times the word “drama” is used in this post.